Crewsing Thru Life

Christmas Sucks! Well, it Did.

Christmas has been a sad time in my life for the past several years.  Since my dad passed away very soon after Christmas, I haven’t been able to look at it the same.  I haven’t been able to enjoy any part of it.  I will never forget my last Christmas with my dad.  I wasn’t supposed to be at home because I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, but due to his rapidly declining health, I was sent home.  It was a very strange feeling knowing it was going to be the last Christmas with I got to spend with him.  None of my family dared to mention the fact that this was his last, but we all knew.  I remember vividly him sitting in his chair with a blanket on watching his grandbabies open their Christmas presents.  He was a very proud papa!  He smiled a lot that day and it definitely helped move the day along.  I was able to snap a very dark and blurry picture of him that morning and I will post it below. 

Since my dad’s death, I have been at odds with Christmas.  I haven’t been able to listen to any of the holiday music, I haven’t enjoyed looking at Christmas lights or decorating, and I haven’t been able to enjoy any of the holiday spirit that is supposed to be flowing this time of year.  Frankly, I have despised the season.  My wife, Emma, is very much the opposite.  She LOVES this time of year.  She enjoys every part of it.  The last few years I definitely drug her down during the holidays.  I went along and the drive-through Christmas displays, the tree picking, the parties, and things of that nature.  I never let us listen to holiday music in the car, I never showed any enthusiasm about doing anything holiday related, and I was just all around a drag to be around.  I have come to my senses and realized that this isn’t fair to her.  I decided it was time for a change. 

This year is different!  I have decided that I’m not going to be sad this year.  I’m not going to ruin my wife’s Christmas because of my poor grieving habits and outright dumb excuse for ruining the happiest time of the year.  So far this year I am ALL IN on Christmas.   We have matching pajamas, we have a FAT Christmas tree that we joyfully picked out together, we listen to holiday music in the car and while decorating around the house, we made Christmas cards with our dog, and most importantly, I show enthusiasm and joy.  I want this Christmas to be special and joyful! 

I am so excited that Emma’s mom and brothers are coming to our house for Christmas.  I am very excited that my cousin is driving the 12 hours from South Georgia to be with us for Christmas.  Her, her husband, and their three kids will be coming and spending the holidays with us this year.  It will be very nice to have a piece of home here with me.

Dad’s last Christmas

Below are some pictures of our Christmas so far!

This is me and Emma taking our tree home!  I know, it usually goes on top, but we decided it would be easier to just throw it in the back of our minivan! 
This is our very fat Christmas tree!  We love it!
I made the nice list!

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I’m proud of you for trying to enjoy this time of year!!!